Russell Edson

The Moonlighters

An artist, who moonlights as a dentist, squeezes some cobalt blue on his toothbrush and begins to brush his teeth.

But then sees a man in his bathroom mirror with a mouth full of blue teeth.

How is that, he thinks, when only moments ago they were as yellow as the harvest moon . . . ?

Because a dentist who acts as his own dentist has a fool for a dentist, he telephones another dentist (who, incidentally, moonlights as an artist), and says, I was brushing my teeth when I noticed they began to look kind of blue—No, no, not sad, just blue, as in, blue paint. . . .

The other dentist, who moonlights as an artist, replies, It sounds like you’re in your blue period, it’s that time of the month. Try some titanium white with a turpentine mouthwash. . . .